The power of the internet can be a wonderful thing. Whether you’re firing off emails, internet shopping, or watching funny cat videos, having a world of information at our fingertips has definitely made our lives easier. But for many children, the internet, and their dependence on it, is not always a positive thing. The sullen teenager staring at their phone, or excited 8-year-old watching videos of people opening “surprise eggs” is a familiar sight in homes up and down the country. Whilst the internet may provide a few minutes peace for parents, what are the true effects of our children being glued to their screens?
Social media plays a large part in cultivating friendships in young people these days, with popularity being based on how many “likes” or followers you have on various social media platforms. The children’s commissioner’s report, Life in Likes, looks at how children aged 8-12 use social media and the effects that can have on children’s self-esteem and emotional wellbeing. The report acknowledges there are many benefits of social media, such as connecting with friends and family or being able to discuss shared interests and hobbies with other people. But it also highlights the negatives, such as knowing who you are talking to.
So how do we ensure children are staying safe online? We’ve all heard of the healthy eating 5-a-day, but have you heard of the Digital 5 a day? An initiative by the Children’s Commissioner, it’s all about finding a “healthy and balanced digital diet”, by encouraging children to use the internet in a responsible manner. The plan makes a good discussion tool when setting rules and boundaries for internet use at home and covers everything from keeping safe online, to ways to use the internet to enrich other areas of their lives, for example, by getting creative or active. With today being safer internet day, many schools will be holding events to raise awareness of online safety. It may be a good idea to speak to your child this evening to find out what they have learnt today. If they haven’t already, encourage them to take the safer internet day quiz. Once they have finished, you can use it as a starting point for discussions.
If you feel like your child is surgically attached to their phone, or gets withdrawal symptoms when you take the tablet away, don’t panic! We’ve put together some tips for dealing with your iChild or Instakid.
Finding a balance
How much is too much when it comes to time spent online? According to an Ofcom study in 2015, 23% of 8-11-year-olds have a social media profile with that number rising to 72% of young teens. Social media is the main method children use to communicate amongst friends, with statuses being updates and photos being posted throughout the day and well into the night. 9% of 11-15-year-olds were found to be using messaging platforms at 10 pm. Doctors in the US have seen an increase in repetitive strain injuries due to excessive phone usage as well as so-called “text neck” injuries, where young people (and adults!) have spend hours hunched over a phone. Aside from interrupting a child’s sleep, this constant online socialising can interrupt general life in the family home. How often have family meal times been interrupted by smart-phones pinging? So what can you do to reclaim your children’s attention?
- Have a specific time, or length of time, where they may use phones or games consoles. Perhaps they need to earn their time by helping around the house or need to complete homework before they will be allowed their phones.
- Collect phones in a box before a family meal (parents phones too! Lead by example). Phones must remain in the box until the meal is over. If they are still bleeping every few minutes insist they are put on silent. Use this opportunity to find out about your child’s day. Teens especially are more likely to talk about their day if they are sitting down for a meal.
- How about having a technology-free day? Or even just an afternoon if that sounds too ambitious. Put all phones, tablets and laptops away and do something as a family. A nice walk or family activity. If the weather isn’t great, have a board game marathon, or put some music on and have a disco in the front room. It doesn’t matter what you do, so long as there are no interruptions!
Staying Safe
Staying safe online is paramount and something that children should be learning about from the moment they first start using the internet. Having adequate parental controls on your child’s device is a must and obviously useful to ensure your child does not see any inappropriate content whilst online, but it is also a good idea to discuss with your child how to keep themselves safe, especially as they get older and will have internet access outside of the home. In 2017 the Children’s Commissioner called for a compulsory “digital citizenship curriculum” to help all children develop their “digital literacy skills” and Government has committed to improving the way online safety is delivered in schools. Talk about what your child has learnt in school and make sure your child remembers some of the key points.
- Keep all passwords secret – even from your best friends. Nobody but your child should know their password.
- Never give out your personal details. Your address, telephone number, the name of school, etc.
- Never arrange to meet anyone you’ve met online. You simply don’t know who you’re talking to.
- Check that your child knows how to identify a reputable website.
It’s a good idea to go over these points from time to time. Perhaps allow your child to have social media on the condition that you will check they are using it responsibly occasionally. Not only can this act as a good deterrent, but will give you peace of mind.
Is it all in the image?
With social successes measured in likes and shares, children often feel the need to keep up with their peers. Sometimes it can be hard for a child to understand that people only tend to show the best version of themselves on social media and that their pictures are probably not a true representation of them and their lives. In that respect, social media can be very damaging to a child’s self-esteem if they feel they have to keep up with the “cool kids”. It’s also a good idea to remind your children that everything that is posted online stays there forever! They might think that that picture of them pulling a duck face is so on trend when they’re 13 or that video of them and their friends being a bit silly or doing scooter stunts, but what about when they’re 23 and applying for their first proper job? They need to be mindful that whatever they post online is forming part of their identity, which will sometimes be the first thing someone sees. As a general rule, if they wouldn’t stand up and show it/say it in their school assembly, then they probably shouldn’t post it online!
And it’s not just the kids who need to think about their social media usage, parents need to consider what they are posting too. The NSPCC is encouraging parents to ask their child’s permission before posting images of them online. As the NSPCC say “For very young children, think about whether they would be happy for you to post or if it will embarrass them. If you aren’t sure, it’s best not to post.”
So whilst the internet can be an amazing thing, it’s important to make sure its used correctly and safely. For more information, check out the NSPCC “Share aware” booklet. It has a simple guide to help you keep your child safe online.
What is your child’s school doing to raise awareness on Safer Internet Day? Share them with us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
