If you’ve already hosted a few kids’ parties, you’ll know there are always a few shy children in the group who just don’t want to join in. No matter how old they are or how good friends they are with the birthday boy or girl, shy children can find parties of all sizes a challenge and you find yourself constantly trying to peel them off their chair. As the host, it’s your job to get these wallflowers to get involved. Though it may take a bit of time and effort, seeing the most shy and retiring kids in the group letting go and having a great time will be a great reward.
Though you may already have your own techniques for getting the shy kids involved at a party, we thought we’d share our years of hosting expertise with you to add a few more quivers to your bow. By following these easy steps, taking it slowly and giving the children the space to be themselves, you’ll be able to get all but the most resistant children up and having fun.
Don’t force it
The most important thing to remember is not to force it or come on too strong. If you march straight over to a shy child and just tell them to join in, chances are they’ll retreat back behind the protective legs of their parent and you’ll always be that overbearing parent. Though you may think being firm will help to solve the problem, it will probably have the opposite effect. It could make the child feel singled out and self-conscious, especially if the rest of the room is silent or if the other kids are watching. In fact, if you’re too forceful, you could put the child off of joining in for the rest of the day. Give them time to decide to join in. Most children will eventually feel confident enough to join in the fun for at least part of the party.
Get on their level
If you’re hosting a kids’ party and notice a child who’s reluctant to join in, wait for things to get underway then walk slowly over to where they’re hiding behind their mum or dad. Kneel down so you’re on their level and give them a high five to break the ice. Try to crack a few silly jokes to get them talking. Guess how old they are – 18, 20, 35? Ask if they’re a boy or a girl and guess their name. The sillier you can be, the better, so don’t be afraid to connect with your inner child and really get stuck in.
Chat with the parent
If the child doesn’t respond to you or doesn’t want to talk, turn your attention to their parent. If you can get a rapport going with them and they react positively to you, it will rub off on the child and could give them the confidence they need to talk to you. Most kids automatically trust their parents’ friends, so if you can be a friend, you’ll be one step closer to getting them to join in with the party.
Ask the parents to join in
Once you’ve built up a bit of relationship with the parent and child, ask if they both want to come in, sit down and enjoy the party. If your party involves a magic show, performance or interactive entertainment event, get the parent to sit down just behind their child and tell them to sneak away once the child starts joining in. Often, once shy kids start to get involved, they forget about their fears and have a great time. If your hosting skills are good enough, they probably won’t even notice their parent has disappeared until the end of the party.
Create a safe atmosphere
Getting shy children to join in at a party is all about creating a safe atmosphere. If you’re being silly and having fun, they’ll feel like they can too. Crack jokes, tell silly stories and don’t be afraid to generally make a fool of yourself. Don’t worry if games don’t go according to plan or the music packs up, just have fun, be silly and don’t take anything too seriously. If you throw yourself into the party, you’ll have a good chance of bringing all the kids along with you. What’s more, if all of the children are having fun, laughing and being noisy, the shy kids will feel less self-conscious and they’ll be more likely to join in. You’ll end up having a good time too, two birds one stone and all that.
Don’t point them out
Most shy kids hate to be the centre of attention. If you point them out, ask them their name or try to get them to stand up and join in with games or performances, it’s likely to send them running back to their parent. If they really get into the swing of things, you could try to get them involved after a while. However, it’s a good idea to err on the side of caution and leave them be, especially if it took you a while to get them involved in the first place.
Hire the right size hall
If you’re in charge of booking the venue, a simple step you can take to create a good atmosphere at the party is to hire the right size hall. Having just 10-15 kids in a huge, empty space will make all of the kids more self-conscious and more inhibited. If you book a small, cosy hall on the other hand and fill it with decorations and music, it will help to put the kids at ease and give your party a better chance of success.
Getting shy kids to join in at a party is always going to be challenging. However, if you put a bit of time and thought into your venue, your entertainment and your approach, you should be able to tempt all of the kids at your party out of their shells. All of our entertainers are experts at getting everyone involved, and if you have a particular concern, don’t hesitate to have a quick chat with your party entertainer. If you want more tips and ideas from our expert party planning team, take a look round our site or contact us today.
