In general, confident kids feel happier and more secure in social situations. Confidence makes it easier for kids to put their hands up in the classroom and helps them to do potentially scary things like talking in front of their classmates or performing at assemblies.

However, knowing that confidence is beneficial and instilling it in your kids are two very different things. Many children are naturally shy and will find it difficult to talk to kids they don’t know, speak up in class and feel secure in unfamiliar settings or situations.

Promoting confidence in your kids can make a huge difference to their self-esteem and help them to thrive in all types of situations. So what exactly is it that makes a child confident and what can you do to help your little ones boost their self-esteem? We decided to find out.

Confident role models

Kids pick up a lot of their behaviour traits from their parents, so if you want your child to be more confident, you need to lead by example. When you’re with your child, try to be confident going into different social situations. Don’t hesitate when it comes to talking to assistants in shops and don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with other parents and children at your local playground or kids’ club.

By being confident yourself, you can show your kids how easy it can be to connect with others. It will also help to teach your kids how they too can interact with other people, make friends and navigate the world around them. If you’re not naturally confident, this can be a challenge. However, the more you put yourself out there, the easier it will get, so why not get started as soon as possible?

Regular achievement

All kids feel a little more confident when they achieve something. From getting a good mark in a test to passing their music exam, kids really thrive when they overcome challenges and hit their goals. To help your child become more confident, try setting them goals on a regular basis. These goals could be something as simple as keeping their room tidy or eating all the food on their plate. Alternatively, you can make it something a little harder like learning a new skill or getting a certain mark in an upcoming test.

Achieving these goals is likely to give your kids’ confidence a real boost. You can maximise the benefits of setting goals by praising your children for their achievements. Encouraging words can make a big difference to how a child feels, so make sure you consolidate their hard work with some supportive words of your own.

Meeting new people

Meeting and socialising with new people can be tough for kids of all ages, especially if they’re naturally shy. You can help them to overcome this issue, and become more confident in themselves, by ensuring they meet new people and socialise on a regular basis.

Taking your kids to different clubs and activities is a great way to get them socialising and making new friends. When you arrive at the club or activity, encourage your child to go and talk to the other kids who are there. Although this may be tough at first, the more your child socialises with other children, the better they’ll be at making friends and the more confident they’ll become in the process.

If your child really struggles to talk to other kids, try giving them a few ideas for conversation starters. You could suggest your child asks another child to play with a toy or offers to share a toy with them. Even something as simple as asking another child their name can get a conversation going and help your child to make friends.


A lot of the time, being confident involves taking a few risks. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can be scary, so it’s important that kids know they have a safety net to fall back on. By being supportive of their efforts, you can show your kids that they’re taking the right steps and going in the right direction. This should encourage them to be a little more confident and push themselves that bit further.

Occasionally, things won’t work out exactly as your child wants them to. Another child might not want to play or they might not achieve the goal you set for them. This means that it’s also important to let your kids know that it’s ok to fail. As long as they tried their best, there’s nothing wrong with missing the mark every once in a while. In fact, these things can make kids stronger in the long run as they realise that they can cope in situations even when things don’t go to plan.


A little independence can go a long way when it comes to confidence building. Giving your kids the space to try out new things and meet new people by themselves can have a big impact on their self-esteem. Although kids will probably still need a little support now and then, and you’ll need to keep a careful eye on what they’re up to when you’re out socialising, giving them the opportunity to stand on their own two feet can make a massive difference to their confidence, so don’t be afraid to take a step back and let your kids shine.

Although there’s no magic formula for building confidence in kids, there are steps you can take to promote your child’s self-esteem and help them achieve their full potential. To find out more, or to learn how our parties and events can help to give your child a confidence boost, explore our site or get in touch with a member of our team today.

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